英语小笑话带翻译简短_英语小笑话带翻译

1.地道英语幽默笑话带翻译？

2.英语带翻译的笑话

3.有谁能推荐几个很好笑的英语笑话，还要带有标准的中文翻译哟！——如被纳，还会给你加分哟！

4.带翻译的英语笑话

5.有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些:英语小笑话带翻译简短

6.简短的英语冷笑话带翻译

短篇的英语笑话带翻译

　经常讲一些笑话，不仅能给自己到来快乐，还能感染他人，这里我收集整理了短篇的英语笑话带翻译，一起来看看吧!

短篇的英语笑话带翻译篇一：First Flight第一次坐飞机

　Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

　约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。

　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he watremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。

　After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"

　过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：?看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是

　"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground." ?那些就是蚂蚁，?他的朋友答道，?我们还在地面上。?

短篇的英语笑话带翻译篇二：两只蟑螂

　Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

　"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

　"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

　两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。

　?那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，?它说。?那里太干净了!厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。?

　?请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗另一只蟑螂不悦地说。

短篇的英语笑话带翻译篇三：Mental deficiency 智力缺陷

　"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who ears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't hen to he another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

　?医生，你能不能告诉我，?鲍勃问，?对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?再没有比这容易的了，?医生回答，?问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。那要问什么样的问题呢?嗯，你可以这样问，?库克船长环球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?鲍勃想了一会儿，紧张的'回答道，?你就不能问另外一个问题吗?坦率地说，我对历史了解的不是很多。?

短篇的英语笑话带翻译篇四：Sing Lives

　At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we he to learn this stuff?"

　"To se lives." The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics se lives?" he persisted. "It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

　救人

　在圣路易斯的一所医学院预科大学，学生必须修一门很难的物理课。一天，教授正在探讨一个特别复杂的概念，一个学生粗鲁地打断他的话，问道：?为什么我们一定要学这种东西

　?为了救人。?教授很快回答，继续讲课。几分钟后，那个学生再次大声坚持：?那么物理怎么救人呢教授回答：?它通常可以把你这种笨蛋赶出医学院。?

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地道英语幽默笑话带翻译？

1、Goldfish金鱼

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"

老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"

当空中**给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中**面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."

一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”

6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," sned the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."

"But ,officer, I …."

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."

"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."

大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

8、TwoBirds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

英语带翻译的笑话

笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来，欢迎大家阅读!

地道英语幽默笑话1：

The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to he his teeth fixed,

一个非常吝啬的守财奴终于去牙科看牙齿。

"Well, sir," said the dentist,

“先生，”牙医说道，

"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all he to e out.”

“恐怕你拖得太久了，这些牙齿都要拔掉才行。

"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

“那得花多少钱?，’小气鬼问医生。

"A thousand dollars. "

“一千块美金。”

Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""

“这里是一百块，”吝啬鬼说。“只要稍微把它们松动一点就好

地道英语幽默笑话2：

A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELE"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆，在餐馆的窗户上写着:“ *** 人不许入内”的字样。过了几天，一个特征鲜明的 *** 人走进餐馆想要一个三明治。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办。餐馆老板不想惹事生非，于是就说，“好吧，卖他一个三明治，但是要收他两倍钱，这样就能给他一个教训了。”

But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him he the reservation, but if his friends do e，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs ear in the evening, he a large dinner, pay without plaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELE."

但是第二天，那个 *** 人又来了，这回他要了一整套午餐。老板决定收他三倍的钱，这样他就知道厉害了!那个 *** 人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱，还称赞食物非常好吃，甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐。老板想了想说:“没问题，就让他预定，但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上，那些 *** 人真的来了，点了好多菜，毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱，而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天，老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内”。

地道英语幽默笑话3：

And You Think You've Got Problems

你认为你有问题吗?

"Boy, he I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.

“乖乖，我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄对医生说道。

"Go ahead and tell me about them "

“继续说，告诉我你的问题。”

"Well, to start with, I've got an estate in the country,three Mercedes and a luxury yacht. ."

“喔，是这样的，我在乡下有房地产，另外还有三辆宾士和一艘豪华游艇。”

"So, what's the problem?"

"那问题在哪里呢?"

"I only make $ 100 a week!"

“我一星期只赚一百块美金!”

以上就是我为大家带来的，希望大家喜欢! ?

有谁能推荐几个很好笑的英语笑话，还要带有标准的中文翻译哟！——如被纳，还会给你加分哟！

英语带翻译的笑话

　看笑话好处实在是太多了,生活不能太拘谨,生活需要浪漫,那你多看些糗笑话吧,每天开心一下,可以少去很多的烦恼。下面是我为大家整理的英语带翻译的笑话，欢迎阅读。

英语带翻译的.笑话1:How Many Rabbits?多少只兔子？

　Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I ge you three rabbits and then the next day I ge you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you he Jonathan: ? Nine, sir.

　Teacher: Nine?

　Jonathan: ? I've got one already, sir.

　老师：好，乔纳森，如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

　乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。

　老师：九只？

　乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。

英语带翻译的笑话2:You can't go without me没有我你们走不了

　The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

　"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

　"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

　没有我你们走不了

　公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

　"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.

　"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.

　"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

英语带翻译的笑话3:Drunk醉酒

　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

　"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　

　一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

英语带翻译的笑话4:These Are My Jeans那是我的裤子!

　After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about

　herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．

　“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”

　Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”

　一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”

英语带翻译的笑话5:All I do is pay我要做的一切就是付钱

　"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife

　is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

　"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

　"I'm the people. All I do is pay."

　布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子

　是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”

　“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”

　“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”

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带翻译的英语笑话

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I ge you yesterday?"

"I ge it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:

(1) inform v.告诉

(2) nest n.窝；巢

(3) description n.描述

(4) encourage v.鼓励

(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

鸟窝与头发

我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。

“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:

(1) poisonous adj.有毒的

(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。

我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always he beautiful women failing at your feet?"

摔倒的女人

上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

英语笑话（一）

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can he fleas, but a flea can't he monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话（二）

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话（三）

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter ge her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I he lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must he been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员，

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to he a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf

在一个乡村路上，一警察让这个农民靠边停车，说：“先生，你意识到你的妻子在几公里前从车上掉下去了吗？”农民回答说：“感谢上帝，我还以为我聋了呢！”

Boxing and Running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."

Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."

Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

拳击和赛跑

丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”

朋友： “如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”

丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What hened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I’d know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I he his ear in my pocket."

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,"发生了什么事？“

”一个男孩咬了我一口，“伊凡说。

”再见到他时你能认出来吗?"妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里呢。”

Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？

马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

老师：错了。

马修：可是，先生！从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

1.When Was Rome Built? 罗马是什么时候建成的？

Teacher: When was Rome built?

Tom: At night.

Teacher: Who told you that?

Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.

老师：罗马是什么时候建成的？

汤姆：在夜里建成的。

老师：谁告诉你的？

汤姆：是您啊。您说过罗马不是在一个白天建成的。

2.He Knows the Answer 他知道答案

Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?

Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.

教师：你能告诉我一些有关十八世纪的伟大科学家的事情吗？

学生：我能，先生。他们都死了。

3.Where do babies come from? 小孩从哪里来？

I asked my father where babies come from.

He says you download them from the Internet.

我问爸爸小孩是从哪里来的，他说是从网上下载的。

4.An Essential Correction 实质性的纠正

Teacher: Walter, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.

Walter: What was it?

Teacher: Eggs.

Walter: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.

老 师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。

沃尔特：我吃了什么？

老 师：鸡蛋。

沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。

5. I Don’t Feel Like Getting into an Argument 我不想争论

“Gerald,” asked the teacher, “what is the shape of the earth?”

“It's round,” answered Gerald.

“How do you know it's round?” continued the teacher.

“All right, it’s square then,” he replied, “ I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!”

“杰拉尔德，”老师说，“地球是什么形状的？”

“是圆形的，”杰拉尔德回答。

“你怎么知道是圆的？”老师继续问。

“好，那就是方的吧，”他回答说。“我真的不想和您争论这件事！”

6.Three Reasons 三个理由

Teacher: Bob, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.

Bob: Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so!

老师：鲍勃，说出三条理由来证实地球是圆的。

鲍勃：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，您也是这么说的！

7.Who Should be Given the Present? 礼物该给谁？

A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked

which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient,

never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he

inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it,

Daddy!”

一个有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里，把孩子们召集来问这件礼物应该给谁。“谁最听话，从不和妈妈顶嘴，让干什么就干什么？”他问道。

大家都不吭声。过了一会儿，孩子们异口同声地说：“爸爸，您玩儿吧。”

8.Big Head 大脑袋

“All the kids make fun of me,” The boy cried to his mother. “They say I

he a big head.”

“Don't listen to them,” his mother consoled. “You he a beautiful

head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.”

“Where's the shopping bag?”

“I hen't got one, use your hat.”

“所有的孩子都拿我取乐，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”

“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说。“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了,

去到店里买10磅土豆来。”

“兜子在哪儿呢？” “我没有兜子——就用你的帽子吧。”

有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些:英语小笑话带翻译简短

带翻译的英语笑话大全

　你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候，总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬，这时候你就需要一些笑话，来缓解一下气氛呢，这里我为你收集整理了带翻译的英语笑话大全，希望能对你有所帮助哈!

带翻译的英语笑话1

　The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手

　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never eared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully roached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　What hened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.

　Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?

　有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

　猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。

　半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的`蛛丝马迹。

　Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。

　哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?

带翻译的英语笑话2

　The lowest grade 最低分

　"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."

　"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."

　学生：?教授先生，我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。?

　老师：?我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了!?

带翻译的英语笑话3

　Wait for your salary 你等着发工资吧

　If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.

　If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be hy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...

　wait for your salary.

　如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。

　如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱?

　等着发工资吧!

带翻译的英语笑话4

　As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒

　A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to lee you? "

　A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."

　以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：?酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫

　这时一个男人大声喊：?再来一瓶白兰地!?

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简短的英语冷笑话带翻译

笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。我精心收集了有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇1

i'll see to the rest

a guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

"come on, miss!" he shouted. "shut the door, please!"

"oh, i just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

"you just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and i'll see to the rest."

其余的事由我负责

一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

快点，**!?他喊道：?请把门关上。?

噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。?她回答道。

请把门关上好了，?列车员说：?其余的事由我负责。?

　有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇2

first flight

mr. johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, mr. johnson was very worried about accepting. finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and mr. johnson boarded the plane.

his friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. mr. johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

after a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "look at those people down there. they look as small as ants, don't they?"

"those are ants," answered his friend. "we're still on the ground."

第一次坐飞机

约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。

他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。

过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：?看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是?

那些就是蚂蚁，?他的朋友答道，?我们还在地面上。?

　有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇3

my first and my last

when george was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. he soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.

george had a friend. his name was mark. one day george offered to take mark up in his plane. mark thought, "i've trelled in a big plane several times, but i've never been in a small one, so i'll go."

they went up, and george flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.

when they came down again, mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "well, george, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."

gerogy was very surprised and said, "two trips?"

"yes, my first and my last," answered mark.

第一次与最后一次

乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。

乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，?我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。?

升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。

后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：?乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。?

乔治非常吃惊地问：?两次飞行?

是的，我的第一次和最后一次。?马克答道。

简短的英语冷笑话带翻译

　导语：笑话话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。我整理了短一些英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

　短一些英语笑话带翻译篇一

　before the final examination, tom told his mother, "mom, i had a dream last night that i'd passed today's exam."

　在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”

　"don't trust dreams, dear. it is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." mother replied.

　“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。

　"then i do hope i'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," tom said.

　“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。

　短一些英语笑话带翻译篇二

　mother asked her little boy, darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

　母亲问她年幼的儿子：宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么?

　nothing, mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and i told her three.

　儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。

　短一些英语笑话带翻译篇三

　reggie: we he got a new dog. would you like to come around and play with him?

　里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗?

　ron: well, i don't know---does he bite?

　罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗?

　reggie: that's what i want to find out.

　里基：这正是我想要查明的。

　短一些英语笑话带翻译篇四

　one day after school the teacher said to his students, "tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, i will permit him or her to go home earlier."

　一天，放学以后，老师对他的.学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。”

　the next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed(涂抹) . he was very angry and asked, "who did it? please stand up!" "it's me," said bob, "now, i can go home. good-bye, sir."

　第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟，他非常生气的问：“谁涂的?请站起来!”鲍勃说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见!”

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